Tarsh C’s story in memory of her husband Ash

My husband, the devoted father of our three beautiful young children, was diagnosed with Stage 4 bowel cancer in December 2023 at only 38 years of age.

Prior to his diagnosis, Ash exhibited only minor symptoms, which we initially attributed to the everyday stresses of work.

Despite attending a couple of GP appointments, during which a prostate check was performed, the doctor concluded that Ash was too young and did not present enough symptoms to warrant further screening for other potential issues, such as bowel cancer.

In early December, Ash experienced significant pain and visited the emergency department (ED) with what we believed to be gallstones.

He was discharged with a referral and an ultrasound appointment scheduled for late January. However, Ash’s pain became unbearable, prompting us to seek an earlier appointment.

Fortunately, we managed to secure an ultrasound within a few days. Just an hour after the scan, Ash’s GP urgently called him back to the office, revealing that a large mass had been found in his liver, which was suspected to be secondary cancer.

The following day was a blur, filled with medical appointments and family events – our children’s last day assembly and end-of-school-year celebrations.

By 4:30 pm that same afternoon, we were back at the GP’s office. It was there that we received the devastating news: Ash had Stage 4 bowel cancer.

The GP had already arranged for us to meet with a wonderful oncologist, affectionately known in our home as Dr Lou. She immediately took charge of Ash’s care, quickly scheduling biopsies and the insertion of a port for treatment.

By the 12th of January, Ash began the first of twelve planned chemotherapy treatments.

Despite the rounds of chemotherapy, radiation, and enduring months in hospital due to liver complications, Ash’s cancer proved to be an aggressive mutation.

Tragically, Ash passed away on Christmas Eve 2024 at the age of 39.

We gathered to honour his memory and say our goodbyes at his funeral, held on what should have been his 40th birthday.

The reality is painfully clear: if Ash’s cancer had been detected earlier, he would likely still be with us.

He was a young, healthy, and energetic man who dismissed his symptoms as mere stress. None of us ever imagined that something like this could happen to our family.

My one piece of advice:

Cancer does not discriminate. If you notice any symptoms, or even just have a sense that something is not quite right, do not ignore it. Instead of dismissing your concerns, ask your doctor for the necessary tests.

It might feel dramatic or inconvenient to request medical investigations, especially if you do not tick all the boxes for standard screening criteria. However, sometimes advocating for yourself – even if it means being persistent or feeling like a bother – can be the very thing that saves your life.