Kelly was vibrant 21 years old who loved her family and adored her friends. She enjoyed working in childcare but her passion in life was to travel the world and shopping.
In 2012 Kelly’s dream came true she was setting off to London to travel and work. She set off and found a place to live and found a job at the Elk Bar. Kelly fell in love with London and she loved travelling over to Ireland to see her family that she had never met before.
Kelly worked hard and travelled as much as she could one of her mates from Australia had organized with me to travel over to England and travel with Kelly for her 21st Birthday. At this time Kelly found out that her older sister was expecting their first child. Kelly was going to be an Aunty and this made Kelly a little home sick, as she wanted to be here for Simone and the birth of her first nephew or niece.
Kelly kept in constant contact with Simone and wanted to see every scan and a weekly photo of Simone’s tummy. It was when Simone had her scan at 20 weeks to determine the sex of her baby we skyped Kelly at the same time so she could be a part of it. I can still hear Kelly’s scream when they said it was going to be a boy. Kelly was in over drive then ordering stuff online from Country Road and sending photos to Simone on how she was going to set up the nursery. Over the next few months we had delivery after delivery of parcels of baby stuff. This was one proud Aunty.
Kelly spent 2012 Christmas over in Ireland with Laura and Kelly’s Dad’s family. Then her and Laura travelled for 6 weeks for Kelly’s 21st. So many countries in a short amount of time and so many stories to be told.
Kelly was coming home January 9th 2013 to be here for the birth of her little nephew. Then she was going to go back to England to finish her working visa in England.
Kelly was excited about the birth and when Simone went into Labour Kelly drove around the hospital with Megan until they got the call that there nephew was here.
As soon as she got the call it was a matter of 5 minutes and she was in the delivery room holding her precious little nephew and now named Mason. A dotting Aunty and one little boy that was going to get spoilt rotten by not one Aunty but two. Megan and Kelly were so excited to see their little nephew.
Kelly enjoyed been home and settled back into work at Early Learners until she was ready to head back to England.
How it started …….
It was March 20th and Kelly had said to me she was having trouble doing a bowel movement and I thought it might have just been her body adjusting back from all her travelling. I told her to make an appointment at with Dr Hampton her local doctor.
She put it off and said I will try a laxative first and if it doesn’t work I will make an appointment.
It was then I noticed Kelly losing a little bit of weight and feeling a lot more tired than usual and I told Kelly to see her doctor.
April 18th 2013 Kelly found time and after my constant nagging to go and see her local doctor. Dr Hampton thought it was maybe a cyst or constipation but wanted Kelly to go and have a colonoscopy just to make sure.
April 29th 2013
Kelly was booked in for her colonoscopy. The night before Kelly had to do a bowel prep and what a mission it was to get her to drink the bowel prep medicine. Kelly arrived at the clinic at 8am and we waited until she was called in. The nurse advised she would be a couple of hours and would call when she was in the recovery room. It was around 10am and I got a call from them to go and pick up Kelly. The doctor came out and said that samples of her bowel have been sent off and to make an appointment in a week’s time to come to his practice to get the results.
The day our lives would change forever.
May 10th 2013
We had our appointment to get Kelly’s result from her colonoscopy. We went into the doctor’s surgery thinking Kelly had a cyst or something. The doctor told us to sit down and he turned to Kelly and said “you have a serious problem”, Kelly and I looked at him and said, “What is it”. He said you have a 6cm tumour in your lower rectum. I turned to him and said is it cancerous and he replied yes. He said “Kelly you have bowel cancer”.
I looked at Kelly and her face was white and she said to him how? Why? Isn’t bowel cancer only for older people?
We left the surgery and heading to my car I sat on the curb and cried my daughter has bowel cancer. I rang Kelly’s Dad and told him our daughter has bowel cancer and to get Simone, Matt and Megan (Kelly’s brother and sisters) to stay at home because something we need to sit as a family and discuss.
I cried all the way home and when we arrived home everyone was in tears. Matt was out the back yard curled up in a ball sobbing and Simone and Megan sat in the lounge room in disbelief.
Kelly walked in the front door and said “it’s going to be okay” I will beat this nothing is going to stop me.
Over the next few weeks all I could do was research bowel cancer and I know Kelly did the same. Kelly continued to work and we were waiting on our first hospital appointment to find out what process and treatments were going to be given to Kelly.
The start of hospital appointments, scans, test and treatment.
22nd May 2013
Kelly’s first appointment with surgeons at the hospital. They told Kelly that she would have to undergo P.E.T scans, CT scans and a numerous amounts of blood test.
29th May 2013
Kelly returned to the hospital for all her scans today. She was very scared about the scans but kept a positive attitude and kept that beautiful smile on her face.
30th May 2013
We head back into the hospital to find out results from scans. The surgeons asked Kelly about her symptoms and all that Kelly had was little bowel movement and weight loss, at this time Kelly had started to get lower back pain as well.
The surgeons told Kelly that she had a 7cm tumour in her lower rectum and it could be operated on but she would need chemo and radiation.
Kelly was told that with the radiation hitting her bowel that the radiation could affect her having children and they wanted Kelly to talk to a fertility specialist about freezing her eggs.
That wasn’t the worst for Kelly the surgeons told her that she would have to have a colonoscopy bag put in. Kelly’s face dropped and asked if it was for ever the surgeons told Kelly they were unsure but this is the best way, so the bowel can rest.
4th June 2013
Kelly was admitted to hospital for her surgery tomorrow for her temporary stoma. The stoma nurse came in to talk to Kelly about stomas and to answer any of Kelly’s questions.
5th June 2013
Kelly went into surgery around 9am and returned back to her room around 12. She was very groggy and the first thing she said “is it ugly”. The stoma nurse came in around 5pm and told Kelly that everything went well and she has only a very small stoma. She asked Kelly if she wanted to look at it and Kelly replied if I have to. The stoma nurse talked Kelly and myself about how to look after the stoma and how to clean etc. Kelly had tears rolling down her face that she couldn’t do it. As a Mum I stepped in and said it’s okay Kelly it’s not that big and I cleaned the stoma even though it was killing me inside. I knew I just had to do it.
Over the next couple of days Kelly accepted that she had a stoma but she hated it. She learnt to clean it and how to apply new bags on.
9th June 2013
Kelly was allowed to come home as her stoma was working and with her able to change her bags herself. Kelly hated wearing the bags and every day she would wake up and check if it was real. Her greatest fear was that no man would love her if she had to have the colostomy bag forever.
14th June 2013
Kelly had her appointment at the fertility clinic.
Kelly had to make a decision about freezing eggs or not to.
The doctors spoke to Kelly about how they had to wait for her cycle and then take eggs out. Then it depends how many eggs they could retrieve.
Kelly so wanted to be able to have children but had to decide there and then if she wanted to and the time frame would be approx. two months. That meant her treatment would be on hold until then.
Kelly decided not to freeze any eggs and this broke her heart.
Her sister Simone was there and held her hand and said when the time comes that she would help her have the baby she so wanted to have.
Kelly’s greatest fear at this time that her friends and she had so many would walk away from her and she would be alone.
Kelly’s friends Kristen, Emma, Julie and Greg were there every step of this journey so far.
To have someone in the family with cancer pulls the family closer together and nothing seems to matter anymore except to get Kelly better. Her brother Matt, and her sisters Simone and Megan were at Kelly’s side every step and every doctor’s appointment. The one that made everything seem okay was her little nephew Mason could always put a smile on Kelly’s face.
Treatment to start:
24th June 2013
Today was the day we went into the hospital for Kelly to get marked for radiation. They placed black dots on her stomach and legs of where the radiation was going to hit.
Kelly also met her oncology team for her chemotherapy. They talked to Kelly about the chemo and how it was going to be delivered.
Kelly was able to ask questions and the question that was asked if she was going to lose her hair. If you know Kelly her hair was her pride and joy. Lucky for the type of chemo Kelly was going to receive she would not lose her hair. It may thin but not fall out.
30th June 2013
Kelly went into hospital to get her pic line in her arm. This is a port that the chemo goes through. Kelly had more blood test to see her blood counts and meeting doctors who were going to give her treatment.
Treatment Day is here
1st July 2013
Kelly, her Dad and myself walked into the hospital radiation dept and went and seen reception.
The nurses showed Kelly the procedure for the next 6 weeks of radiation. Her own locker to put her clothes in, where to get the gowns from. We sat down in the waiting room and waited. This was it my daughter was starting her treatment today it was going to be along 6 weeks but we know it was going to be okay.
Kelly’s name was called and we were allowed to go with her to see how things were done. Kelly lied on the bed and this machine lines up the dots on her body. We weren’t allowed to stay in the room with her. I gave her a kiss and told her I loved her. She looked at me with her big green eyes and I could see she was so scared.
We waited in the waiting room for Kell and it was a matter of 10 minutes she was out.
Our next steps up to the Chemo clinic.
We walked up the stairs and met with the nurses. They took Kelly into the ward. There were 6 chairs and one seat left. Yes it was for Kelly. Kelly sat down and a nurse explained what was going to happen. First they accessed her port in her arm and told her they were going to place two different drugs through. Firstly it was anti nausea medication and then the 5FU.
Kelly turned to me with a beautiful smile and said Well Mum this is it I have cancer. I could see she was so scared I turned and looked out the window tears running down my face but I knew I had to be strong and not let her see me cry.
As the nurse came back and placed the medicine through I held Kelly’s hand tight and gave her a kiss and told her it is going to be okay. Please make this work ……
Kelly’s treatment went for 4 hours and then a chemo bottle was connected to her port to bring home for the next 4 days. It was like a baby bottle. Kelly came home tired and slept really well. Didn’t feel like eating much.
Back tomorrow for another round of radiation.
July 1st – 7th August
Kelly underwent radiation five days per week and chemo every fortnight. She handled the treatment really well but got very tired and with the radiation by week 5 the radiation started to burn her skin. It was blistered like severe sunburn. During this time Kelly’s appetite decreased and she started to lose weight.
Kelly started the treatment at 70kilos and was then down to 60 kilos.
Kelly slept a lot of the time and as you all know Kelly did a lot of research online. Kelly was forever looking for answers and asking why her?
But finally her treatment is over one hurdle down, now letting her rest for 6 weeks as treatment still works during this time.
During her resting time Kelly tried to go back to work. Kelly worked as a childcare worker so we had to be very careful about the children with colds etc. Kelly worked 2 – 3 hours per day, as this is all she could handle, as she got very tired easily.
Kelly tried her hardest to go out with her girlfriends and many times they just had lazy nights in watching movies and on the odd occasion did go out to a bar but they would always drive in and someone was the designated driver just in case Kelly needed to go home.
Emma and Kristen did lots of day trips with Kelly down to the coast and spending days talking and laughing.
Spending lots of time with Mason and spoiling him rotten was Kelly’s favourite past time. Many days Mason would have a nap with Kelly and his little hands would wrap around her neck.
25th August 2013
Our neighbour Adam a very close friend to Matt but also Kelly.
He wanted to do something special for Kelly and to raise some money so he decided to do the world’s greatest shave. He shaved his hair off in honour of his friend Kelly. He raised over $1000.
Kelly got very emotional and could not believe that he would do that for her.
Kelly was still losing her appetite and losing more weight she was down to 55 kilos.
28th September 2013
Kelly and I flew to Sydney for the weekend, she wanted to catch up with people that she worked with over in London.
She was very scared to go onto the plane with her colonoscopy bag. We made sure that we had everything on hand.
We checked into our motel and Kelly had a lie down. I went down the street to get something to eat for Kel and myself.
Kelly got dressed and looked amazing as ever. She kept asking me can you see my bag and you could not even notice. I walked Kelly to the place where Kelly was meeting her friends and they all ran up to see her and give her the biggest hugs ever. They promised they would get Kel back to the motel. I made sure that she had her medication and nausea medication and told her that she had to eat something.
Before I left Kel asked me to go to the toilets with her to make sure her bag was okay. I took out my little purse with everything I needed and quickly changed it to put her mind at rest. I gave her the little purse just in case. She gave me a kiss and said thanks Mum what would I do without you. I told her to have a good night.
The next morning we sat up and had breakfast in bed. Looking outside with window beautiful sunny day.
We walked around Sydney and did a bit of shopping and of course buy something for Mason.
That night we headed to do the bridge climb, deep down I was hoping that Kel would have enough strength to do it. We checked in and one of the questions they ask you is have you had any abdominal surgery recently. I spoke to the gentleman and asked if I could speak to somebody in private. Kel and myself were taken to a table and a gentleman approached us. I explained to him that Kelly has a colonoscopy bag. He was very sincere and asked if we could go back in to the waiting room and he would come and collect us before the rest of the group met in this room. We went into the fitting room and two other attendants came with us. The gentleman explained and they set a harness up for Kelly to adapt to her bag. They then told Kelly when we meet here all together to get suited up, your suit and harness will be hanging in cubicle one. They were so good that no one even knew in our group that Kelly had been suited up prior. They put Kelly on the back on the line with a supervisor and he told Kelly at any time you need to stop let me know and we can stop and rest and catch up with everyone.
We walked that bridge the lights of Sydney shone so bright. The stars were so close you could feel that you could touch them.
We made it…… something I will treasure forever.
The next morning we went on the speedboat ride racing around Sydney harbor doing spins and going so fast. Kelly had the biggest smile nothing could beat it.
Who would know she was battling cancer, we didn’t even talk about it, for a little bit we didn’t care. We were having the time of our lives.
It took a lot out of Kel and she slept most of the plane ride home and was extremely tired the next few days.
Kelly was still doing her weekly blood test to make sure of her blood count and in constant contact with the hospital and her local doctor.
October 3rd One Direction concert. Megan’s favourite band and all she wanted was Kelly to go with her. Kelly rested all day and tried to eat to make sure she had energy to go. Megan and Kelly got dressed and as usual they looked fantastic. Megan beaming with excitement to see ID but also to be going with her sister. Kelly and Megan had an absolute ball and secretly I think Kelly enjoyed it as well. During the concert Harry came over to their side and waved, Kelly told Megan that he waved at her and Megan refused to believe it.
October 6th Kelly came down with a high fever and if you know if you have had chemotherapy it is really important to get checked out straight away.
Kelly was still having a lot of trouble with her nausea and trying to get her to eat was impossible. She loved eating diced peaches and frozen cokes.
We went and seen the surgeons at the Hospital and to have another CT scan and PET scan. Her major surgery was to take place October 24th. The doctors advised Kelly is was going to be a long surgery about 6 hours. Then the recovery was going to be 6 weeks with hardly any walking.
Kelly just wanted the surgery to be over and the tumour removed and to be cancer free. Kelly was positive and believed everything was going to be okay.
We had to be at the hospital by 7am. Kelly was in a good frame of mind and in a positive mood. Kelly was met with a team of doctors and advised her what was going to happen. They prepped Kel for surgery and wheeled her to the lifts to theatre. We were allowed to go with her until the lifts. Her Dad and myself kissed Kel and hugged her tight and told her that we will be waiting in her room when she gets back. The doctors told us that it was going to be a long surgery and told us to go home and they would ring us as soon as Kelly got out of surgery to get back in time to be in her room when she got back.
The lifts door closes and my baby was off to surgery to remove this nasty tumor and to repair her bowel. As the lift door closes my tears start, they did not stop I was helpless there was nothing I could do.
We got home around 9am and I could not sit still, I paced, I sat, I tried to lay down but nothing could keep my mind off my baby girl.
Then the phone rang, my heart stopped and yes it was the hospital. The surgeon was on the phone and not the news we wanted to hear, the tumor had metastesised and could not be taken out without ripping her bowel wall. The cancer had also spread to her stomach wall. The surgeon told us to come in and speak to her before we could see Kel.
I got off the phone and fell to the floor, I screamed, I yelled, I swore, I cursed I said things that I had never said before. All I could yell is Why Why Why ???????
We headed back to the hospital and now how was I going to tell Kel that it was unsuccessful. How can I tell my daughter that the cancer has spread? How can I tell her anything?
We seen the surgeon and she said she was so sorry and broke down in tears. We went to the recovery room and Kel was starting to wake up. She seen me standing there and turned to me and said “It didn’t go well Mum did it” “ I looked at her and cried she said it’s okay Mum I had a feeling it wasn’t going to go my way. She said please don’t cry.
We took her back to her room and she was dozing on and off and as always when she opened her eyes always had a cheeky smile and would say “You still here”. Where would I want to go?
Kelly was kept in hospital for a couple of days to dress her stomach.
Kelly was discharged and the family brought Kelly a spoodle dog. We brought it to the hospital and she waited in the car with Simone and Mason until Kelly came out. The look on Kelly’s face was priceless.
Kelly named the puppy Maisy. Maisy slept on the end of Kelly’s bed every night.
Melbourne Cup November 4th 2013
Kelly was given a gift of a lifetime. Her Uncle Neville’s boss organized for Kelly and three friends she chose Kristen, Emma and Jodie to be picked up by limousine and driven to Josh’s paddock near the Lexus centre. There they would be flown by helicopter to Flemington Race course, picked up by car and driven to the racecourse. Then had prime tickets on the balcony near the finishing line for a 4-course meal. He also gave the girls $100 each to have a bet with. It was the same on the way home.
Kelly brought a beautiful white dress from Sass and Bride and her sister brought her a headband from Mimco. She looked like an angel.
Kel was in a lot of pain and complaining about pains in her right leg. She lasted the day and came out winning.
Kelly is still getting weekly blood counts and the doctors are monitoring her weight.
Kelly had an appointment with the doctors at the oncology department. They were going to try a new chemo and for Kelly to have a permanent port put in her chest which would make it easier to get her chemo but they would be also be able to get blood out for her blood tests. Kelly’s blood counts are still looking okay.
Still not eating very much, nausea is still a big concern and still loving frozen cokes.
November 7th 2013
Kelly went in for x-rays, CT scans and more blood test today. She seen her doctors and happy the way she is. Still concerned about her weight loss.
We just got home from hospital and they rang. With the X-rays they are concerned about fluid on her lungs. We had to take Kel back in there.
This is why she was having soreness in the legs, she was getting clots. She was put on clexane injections twice a day.
I had to learn how to inject Kelly twice a day in the stomach. Some days she said I didn’t hurt other days she would pull this funny face. I hated giving these to her.
November 25th 2013
Kelly was unwell this week she has been vomiting everything up and in quite a bit of pain. Seen her doctors and they were going to put her port in but she is too unwell. They admitted Kelly into hospital to place her on a drip and to try and get her nausea under control. Kelly is losing a lot of weight and is getting very weak.
During the next couple of days Kelly got her port in her chest. It makes it a lot easier for Kel not having to have needles every time for blood test and for the new chemo.
Kelly was discharged from hospital on the 29th November.
December 9th 2013
Kelly’s first day of her new treatment. Doing everything from her port. Kelly will be bringing her baby bottle home again but this cycle is only for two days and is on a fortnightly basis.
Kelly’s treatment was going okay but was making her very tired.
December 20th 2013
Kelly is doing her Christmas shopping online. Has spoilt her little man of course and has organized everybody’s presents. Putting up the Christmas tree has always been her job. She laid in bed and directed Megan and myself on where everything needs to go.
December 22nd 2013
Kelly rushed into hospital having a lot of trouble breathing and can’t keep anything down. Kelly was taken straight into emergency and placed on oxygen to get her levels higher. They also gave her an ECG and have taken blood to get her counts. Kelly was moved into the heart specialist ward, as her blood pressure was very high.
December 23rd 2013
Kelly was moved into the oncology ward and monitored for her blood pressure and placed on a drip for her nausea.
We got more bad news the chemo has given Kelly a mild heart attack and will not be allowed to have that chemo again. She has to stay on the injections for her clots.
They have also sent Kel for a brain scan because they are worried the cancer may have spread to the brain because of the nausea.
Another long wait but finally good news brain is all in the clear just need to adjust nausea medication.
I took Kelly’s presents into the hospital so she could wrap them and this year her wrapping paper had to be red with silver ribbon. She sat there for hours wrapping presents to perfection.
The doctors advised Kelly that it looked like that she would have to spend Christmas in hospital. This broke Kelly’s heart, all she wanted was to spend Mason’s first Christmas with him.
December 24th 2013
I went into the hospital early in the morning and Kelly still wasn’t her best. She had hardly kept anything down and her nausea was still pretty bad.
The doctors came in and said because of her nausea and her blood pressure it was more than likely that she would spend Christmas in hospital. Kelly sobbed she wanted to be home for Christmas.
I sat and thought if Kelly can’t come home for Christmas lunch we will bring lunch into her. I asked the doctors if it was possible if we could take Kelly across the road to the park for lunch and we could be all together. I arranged things with my family and started to plan what to bring in.
It was later in the day and Kel and I were talking about how excited Mason was going to be on Christmas Day opening his presents.
Kel had many visitors in and her friends came and decorated her room with Christmas decorations.
Kelly’s nausea was still pretty bad and still on the drip to get fluids into her. Eating she did not feel like it. The doctors came back in and this time there was 4 -5 of them. They were discussing her nausea and pain. They tried another nausea drug to see how this would go. Her pain was not to bad but still had lots of lower back pain. The doctors told Kelly to rest and to have a lovely Christmas.
We were watching television and I received a text message from the doctors to meet them in the hallway, curious and worried I told Kel I was going down stairs to get a coffee and would bring her a frozen drink back. She was going to try and have a sleep she said.
I walked outside and I was met with about 10 doctors and the head of oncology, surprised and scared they asked me to walk down to a meeting room. My hands were sweaty and my heart was pumping.
I walked into the room and was surrounded by doctors. The head of oncology said “it’s not looking good”; we think the cancer has spread into her lungs and to the left side of her heart.
I screamed so loud I am sure all of Melbourne could have heard me. I said there has to be something you can’t tell me that this disease is going to take my baby girl. I held my head in my hands and sobbed and sobbed.
This can’t be happening its Christmas and all I want for Christmas is for my baby to be okay.
They said they were going to give Kelly more chemo to give her more time and help with pain management.
What was I going to tell Kell? How was I going to tell her?
It was nearly half an hour in the room and I knew I had to get back to her and just then I got a text message from her “Where are you Mum “. I had to get back to her, I had to.
I said to the doctors that I didn’t want Kelly to know any of this; I wanted this Christmas to be the best I could give her. I told them I had to have Kelly home for Christmas; you must find a way that you can make it happen.
I went to the toilets washed my face and I knew now this is when I needed to be strong. I couldn’t show her that my heart was breaking. I walked into the room with her frozen coke and she said where did you get that from China, I laughed and said No I was talking on the phone to Dad.
We watched a movie and she nodded off, I sat there and watched her sleep, I stroke her face and I prayed please God don’t take my daughter. Kelly woke up and seen me crying what’s wrong Mum, what could I say and I replied to her just a stupid movie Kel it gets me every time. She smiled and closed her eyes again.
Around 6pm the head of oncology came in and said I think I have some good news for you Kelly. We have been talking this afternoon and if you promise to rest easy the rest of the day and try and get something down to eat and your blood pressure settles we will allow you to go home for day leave for Christmas Day tomorrow.
Kelly’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and she said I will do anything thank you thank you. He just smiled and said have a lovely day tomorrow.
I had a tear rolling down my face, as he looked at him I whispered thank you. He just gave me my Christmas present.
25th December 2013
Went around 7am to pick up Kel from the hospital. Emma came with me as she was spending Christmas Day with us.
We got into Kelly’s ward and walked into her room, she was up waiting for us and asking what took us so long.
The nurses came in and gave me clear instructions and if she struggles for breath to ring an ambulance and not to get her too worked up. Okay just let me get my daughter home.
We left the hospital and arrived at Simone’s house as we were having breakfast with the family there.
Kelly jumped out of the car with a big sack of presents to give to Mason. He gave her the biggest cuddle and dived into the presents. We opened presents, laughed and for a second it seemed everything was okay. Kel was coming out with quirky jokes and her smile still filled the room.
It was around 10am and Kel got very tired, we laid her down in Simone’s bed to have a rest. Simone laid Mason down and they had a sleep together. I went home to start Christmas Lunch, usually everything is prepared but it’s okay I’ll get it done.
Kelly arrived home just after 12 and we sat down as an entire family around the table and popped open crackers, laughed, cried and took some amazing photos.
We took Kel back to the hospital around 9pm as she had to be back at that time. Kel didn’t want to go back but she was in a little bit of pain. We got back and got her back into bed and the nurses came and checked and gave her medication.
Kel said to her Dad and I - do you have to go yet. We looked at her and said no its okay we will stay a little longer. Kel said if you watch a movie with me it will go past 12 and that means I made Christmas because I don’t think I will get another Christmas. I looked at her and said of course you will but deep down I was ready to burst into tears. We ended up watching two movies and it was just around 2am and the nurse came in and said Kel needs her rest and the doctors were happy with her results and she is allowed to go home tomorrow just like today on day leave.
I gave Kel the biggest cuddle and kissed her and told her I love her more than anything. I walked to the door and turned around and looked at her and blew her another kiss. I walked out the door and as I got into the lift I burst into tears. Was she right was this going to be the last Christmas…
28th December 2013
Kelly was allowed to come home today. The oncology team want to see her on the 22nd January 2014 as there might be another chemo they could try. But we had to get her strength back up. Kelly weighs 42 kilos.
She lives on frozen cokes, you don’t know how many trips a day I make to Hungry Jacks and if her friends come over they know to bring one. Kelly’s friends have been amazing visiting her in hospital, coming to the house, sending message and flowers and lots of love.
We have palliative care involved for our home and they have organized a hospital bed for her that we can get her out of the bed easier.
Kelly sleeping a lot more and is getting weaker and weaker, finding it hard to walk as her legs are very weak. We have a wheel chair now and take her out the front just to get some fresh air and spend some time with Mason watching him play.
January 2nd 2014
Kelly’s 22nd Birthday
Her friends came around this morning with decoration and a cake. They sat on her bed and sang Happy Birthday.
Kel wasn’t having a great day her nausea and back pain was pretty severe. But like every birthday we always went out for dinner and that’s what Kelly wanted to do. We headed to our local restaurant and even though she didn’t eat much she enjoyed herself. She only lasted a little while as she got very tired.
We got her back into bed and gave her the medications that she needed. I laid next to her in the hospital bed and we talked about lots of things.
We talked about her friends and what mischief they use to get up to when they all went out, we talked about work, the secret loves of her life some I knew and some I didn’t.
A princess that Kelly formed a beautiful relationship with at work and she so much wanted to see Gracie but Kelly didn’t want her to see her the way she was.
A lot of her friends wanted to visit her and there was a large amount of them. But Kelly didn’t want them to see her like this she wanted them to remember her the way she was.
We talked about the treatment that was coming up and Kel researched everything and she checked if this chemo was going to make her loose her hair. But it didn’t.
Kel dozed off and I laid on the couch as I have been sleeping on it for the last 7 months. I just looked at her sleeping,this kid just amazes me, never any tears, always positive always so strong.
I just wish I knew where she got it from because I really could do with some. I’m breaking inside, I don’t want to lose my daughter.
22nd January 2014
The day had arrived to see what treatment was available. Her doctors talked us through things and Kelley turned to him and said is this treatment going to make me better. He replied and said No Kel but it will give you more time. Kelly is down to 39 kilos now and her strength is so weak. The doctors talked about side effects of this chemo and Kelly asked even though she researched if she would lose her hair. No one could touch Kelly’s hair.
Kel turned to me and said Mum what should I do, I wanted her to say so badly yep let’s do this, but she looked at me and grabbed my hand and said I’m sorry Mum I can’t do it, it’s going to make me sicker and I am just so tired and I can’t fight this anymore.
I put my head in my hands and sobbed like a baby, she hugged me and said it’s okay mum I gave it the best fight I could but I can’t do it.
The doctors talked to us about thing and they asked Kelly if she had any questions. Kelly asked how long, he started to reply and I said I don’t want to hear this, I don’t want to know how long left I have with my daughter. I waited outside and sobbed.
About 20 minutes later the team of doctors wheeled Kelly back out, she was cracking jokes with them and laughing. The doctors looked at me and smiled and whispered you have one amazing daughter. I replied I know…..
We were driving home over the Westgate and I asked Kel how did you go with the doctors, the cheeky bugger said you didn’t want to know. I want to hear it from you…
She grabbed my hand and said Mum I have 2 – 4 weeks, I turned and looked at her and screamed NO….
I cried all the way home and she held my hand so tight reassuring me that it was okay. This brave kid thinking about me and not herself. Wiping my tears as I drove.
Now how was I’m going to tell her sisters and brother.
I rang her Dad and broke down and told him, he drove home as soon as he could and just held her so tight and cried. I rang Simone as soon as I got home and she broke down into tears.
Megan was at home already and went into her room and broke down. I rang her brother at work and he collapsed they got him a taxi to come home. Our house was quiet no one knew what to say.
Kelly’s best mates came over and I told them, they cried and screamed and I left them to have some time with Kel. She was making them laugh and telling them that she was going to be okay.
She wasn’t scared….. she just didn’t want to leave everybody…
24th January 2014
Kelly very tired and its Thursday night. I gave her medication for her pain and she said Mum I have lots of things to do before I go. I asked her what she said I have letter I need to write for my family and friends for special occasions and I want them to know that I was thinking about them. I need to speak to Simone, Matt and Megan by themselves. One by one they went in and sat and talked to Kel, she didn’t cry but she wanted them to know how much she loved them and to promise never to forget her.
She called us all back in and said I have wrote down what I want for my funeral.
- White coffin
- Yellow daisies and roses
- Yellow balloons
- These are the songs I would like
- These are the people I want to carry my coffin
- I want my wake at Kooringal Golf Course
- I want everyone to have a drink for me.
Here is a 22 year old so strong, brave organizing her own funeral.
26th January 2014
It was just after midnight when all the other had gone to bed. Kel said Mum I don’t want to sleep in the hospital bed tonight can you and me sleep in my bed. We laid there talking for ages and watching the CI channel on tv.
It was around 4am and Kelly turned to me and said Mum I have something to say to you I asked her what it was..
She grabbed my hand and said I’ve lied to you, I said what have you lied about she said the doctors have told me that I have only 2 – 4 days to live not weeks. I looked at her face and burst into tears. She said she was sorry for lying but she didn’t want me to worry and be in any more pain than you are. She told me every time I look into your eyes mum I can see so much pain.
She looked at me and got my pinky finger around hers and said promise me Mum you will love me forever. I cuddled her and held her so tight.
It was around 6.00am and she asked me to put Matt Corby on her favourite singer of all time. She wanted to hear Resolution.
During this time Kelly kept pointing to the corner of the room and yelling Not yet.
Kelly’s breathing started to go a little funny and I asked if she needed her oxygen, she nodded and I placed it on her.
She opened her eyes and said can you get Dad, Simone, Matt and Megan and my little man.
I went and called them all to come down stairs. We sat on her bed listening to resolution, Kelly talking to everyone telling them she loved them and still with a cheeky smile on her face.
Around 7:45am we rang Kelly’s doctor to come over, he asked Kelly if she wanted anything for her pain and she replied No thank you I have no pain.
It was around 8.30am I asked Kelly if she wanted her Grandparents and Aunty and Uncle she replied yes so we rang them to come over.
Everyone sat on her bed and she was replying to everyone. I laid next to her and held her tight and whispered it’s okay to go now if you have to, even though I hated saying it I didn’t want her to go.
She opened her eyes and smiled at me and said Pinky swear I love you forever and turned to everyone and told them she loved them and with that she took her last breath and closed her eyes.
My baby was gone, my life was never going to be the same anymore, I screamed and screamed.
Over the next few days my life was a blur, flowers filled our house it was like a florist, her friends dropping over all the time. We laughed, we cried and we remembered her.
February 4th 2014
Today we laid our beautiful girl to rest.
Kelly didn’t want a morning funeral she wanted an afternoon one, so she could be ready in time.
The funeral was held at Queen of Peace Kelly’s primary school, Kelly’s wish was everyone to wear something yellow.
We arrived at the church around 1pm the cars were everywhere they could find a park, we pulled up and all we could see was a sea of people wearing something yellow.
Kelly had planned what she wanted and we followed every step she asked for. Her family and friends did an amazing job doing the readings etc.
The church was jammed packed and overflowing outside there was over 1000 people who attended her service.
Kelly was laid to rest at Altona Memorial Park and we held her wake at Korringal Golf Course.
Kelly will always be with us and as Kelly would say it’s not good bye its I will see you later.
My angel is in heaven in no more pain
Kelly was strong, brave and one courageous girl that I admire for her fight.
She wanted me to write this story to get awareness out there to young people that bowel cancer is just not an old person’s disease.
R.I.P Kelly, Pinky Swear I love you forever xxxxxxxx Mum